Good Puppet Bad Puppet

2010 – Resolutions to Ignore

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:13:00 +0000

Again I am faced with imaginary improvements that I want to make with my Life whether it be health related or skills improvement or even to cut out items/people.

Again I am faced with either doing them for a short amount of time before the desire fades or just ignore them all together.

But, I think I have found a way around this.

Don't Do It. No resolutions. Just suggestions for a different (not necessarily better) 2010.

So here is what I have on tap.

Put a Calendar reminder (on my work calendar no less) to Blog twice a week – Tue and Thur.
Vowed to cut back all Fast Food (includes Subway, Fazolli, QDobas) in 2010 which will be hard to do since I LOVE Taco Hell and the breakfast burrito at Carl Jr's
For every cup of coffee I drink at work I drink 1 cup of water.

That's it.

If I can do these three small items for at least 3 months then I can add one more for another 3 months and then another to end the year with 6.

Is that going to be too much to ask – cascading "suggestions"?

Hopefully not.

We'll find out on Thursday to see if I keep #1….

Fly the Assinine Skies

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:26:00 +0000

Here are some thoughts I had traveling to NY in November for my Grandmother's funeral.

Airplane thoughts - boarding

I hope I don't look half as stupid boarding a plane as do many of these folks. They look like they are monkeys trying to get it on with a football. Trying to either wheel their oversized tiers of carry-on bags down the narrow aisle or balancing three cups of coffee, a baby and a small child plus care seat. Wtf, is this your Volvo you're trying to load here?

Airplane rants - costs

So why now are the airlines are wanting to charge me for in flight snacks, wi-fi and the "luxury" of stowing a bag under the plane?

Whatever happened to the world of complimentary items as a thank you for choosing their airline?

Do cabs, busses, trains charge you because you have an oversized bag with your week's worth of clothes? No. So why should I pay an airline for this necessity.

They should have to pay me a "noise" fee for having to endure a jet engine howling next to my head for 4 hours.

Human Nature 101

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:00:00 +0000

I don't think I'll ever understand what makes people do the strange things they do when in a social setting and especially surrounded by a group of people unknown to them from across the country.

Case in point was last evening's encounter with a total knob that we'll just call Tschep for the hell of it.

So me and a couple buddies decided to play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 in the public matches and came into the lobby with the fore mentioned, let's describe him as Douchebag. So this TDouche starts going off on how I must suck at golf and my gamer tag (COGolfBuddy) is dumb and I suck. Now, granted I do suck at golf, but that is no way to great new folks who enter the game lobby.

He continues to be a dick when my buds start mouthing back and even when we're on the same damn team he's talking smack. Same team. Not like he'd want to actually win a match, but he wanted to just be alpha male of the gaming universe I guess.

Needless to say we actually listened to him spew his shit and mock our skills (despite the fact we out scored him on some maps and he's 20 levels higher than us). It felt good to put a bullet in his skull a couple times. He did eventually drop out and I filed only my second official complaint ever to Microsoft about a player who was abusive.

But I can't understand what drives a person to totally rip on folks, unprovoked mind you, and even bypass the desire to have your team victorious by shitting on teammates. He even ripped on newer people who arrived in the lobby telling them to shut the fuck up when they were chatting to their buds.

I guess we'll never know what lives in the minds of men; especially the angry ones.

12-Year-Old Jerk Murders Moose for No Good Reason

noreply@blogger.com (Loki) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:08:00 +0000

This girl is 12. She murdered a moose as big as her house because she could. Moose are rare. Jerks are not. I'm sure that she is a smart kid but I bet she could be better spending her time doing her homework than using advanced technology to murder megafauna for sport. Idiotic. That smile will come off her face soon enough when she finds out how fun it is to wash dishes at the diner the rest of her life up there in Mooselick, MN.

Kelly Holmin, age 12, sits on a bull moose

she murdered for no good reason last

weekend because her dad is gun nut who got

bored and thought, 'I want my baby girl to

kill something big today. '

Ok, some good news actually...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:03:00 +0000

Marge Simpson has done something that Homer might not like but will make Bart the proudest kid in his school: She's posed for Playboy magazine.

After more than a half century featuring women like Marilyn Monroe, Cindy Crawford and the Girls of Hooters on its cover, Playboy has for the first time given the spot to a cartoon character.

And the magazine is giving the star of "The Simpsons" the star treatment, complete with a data sheet, an interview and a 2-page centerfold.

Sweet Georgia Brown! Consider me in for this!

Like my day wasn't dumb enough...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:52:00 +0000

Six-year-old Zachary Christie was so excited to become a Cub Scout that he brought his camping utensil to school. The tool serves as a spoon, a fork and a knife, and Zachary wanted to use it at lunch.

What Zachary didn't know was that the gizmo violated his school's zero-tolerance policy on weapons. And now the Christina School District in Newark, Del., has suspended the first grader and ordered him to attend the district's reform school for 45 days.

What the fuck is the World coming to these days?
Are we that paranoid about 6-year olds stabbing other 6-year olds with sporks?
Couldnt they just confiscate it like they used too in the old days when Life wasn't so IDIOTIC?

The Return of MS Blog Posting

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:33:00 +0000

Now that I have reconfigured my Word to be able to post Blogs on the fly I can give it a go again.

However it's 6:30am and I am not fully awake. That is starting to worry me that doing the morning shift is going to wreck my health.

I have been feeling tired and run down all the time. The brain takes longer to work it seems.

But having extra time to see the G-kids might make it worth the personal torture I am putting myself through…

Holy Crap

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:35:00 +0000

I am still alive.

Is Life that busy?

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:02:00 +0000

That I cant even find time to Post?
Has the Facebook and Twitter generation killed Blogging?
Apparently it has.
Or I am lazy.
Not sure which is the correct answer.

Before you get mad...consider this...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:18:00 +0000

A man walking his young son across a street was mowed down and killed by a driver who bashed into seven cars as he tore through a New York neighborhood, police said.

The driver reportedly got into a fight with his wife in the parking lot of a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant in Baychester, got in his car and erratically drove through the parking lot and streets.

The driver slammed into the 36-year-old man, who was not identified, as he tried to push his 6-year-old son out of the way, police told MyFOXNY.com.

The father died at the scene. The boy wasn't hurt.

Police say the driver kept going, hitting six more cars and a total of 14 people before his mangled car came to a stop. He is now in police custody, MyFOXNY.com reported.

The time has come...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:59:00 +0000

for me to bore you further.

So we're on the verge of our yearly IT Summit and I am not prepared to be out of work for those many days. And it's going to be oh so exciting. Yawn.

Later MJ

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:57:00 +0000

Didn't care much for you alive and care just as much on your death.

Thanks For Smoking

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:45:00 +0000

Now that the new law was signed into affect I wonder how realistic it's going to be for people to not actually smoke or stop smoking.

If raising the prices hasn't deterred folks then I am thinking the only logical way to help them smoke is to create an anti-smoking pill that removes the urges or better yet, just let people smoke.

Helps the economy and will eventually reduce the over population problem.
Might even help those fat bastards in Mississippi lose weight....

Florida Cats are Crazy Man....

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:19:00 +0000

My dear friend Kate emailed me and I had to share this....

The little evil furballs decided to have a military action against my q-tips yesterday. I came home to find the wounded and dying scattered across the living room battlefield. Cotton fuzz was all over the floor, as if the little personal hygiene items were bleeding out. A few of the q-tips had been obviously water boarded in the cat fountain until they couldn’t take it anymore. Left to die in the water, they drifted with the soft current of the filter, others were then tortured by being dragged across the floor and buried alive in the depths of the litter box.

I had to perform multiple burials last night while the evil ones ran through the house pillaging and celebrating their dubious victory against a much weaker opponent. The evil ones were finally calmed by the gift of a large pile of contraband consisting of fresh nip and various food specialties of oceanic variety.

Back so soon?

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:39:00 +0000

Yes.
I am so tired of people wanting Letterman's head.
You all are assholes.
Accept his apology and move on dickwads.

Holy Crap

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:44:00 +0000

So we're getting a bunch of tornadoes and insane thunderstorms out here.
In fact we've been getting more rain in June than I have recalled us ever getting.
So if things happen and my house blows away I am collecting insurance and moving to Hawaii.

Wow, Long time no speak

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Stuff happens and it's been happening in droves.

The parental units (thanks Kate for that sating) are coming end of June so I have actually been doing housework in between golf, softball and video games.

Weather has been a little goofy with a couple cold fronts producing mountain snow and some flat land tornadoes.

Coworkers have been either out on 2 week vacations, business trips or sick leave so I have been hammered with work.

Aside from that, life rocks and I cant complain.

R.I.P. Karla

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Thu, 28 May 2009 21:58:00 +0000

One of the ladies I used to work with at Penton passed away due to cancer. She had breast cancer and it came back and spread into her brain. She didnt last too long after that happened.

Again the fragile nature of Life comes and places everything else into perspective.
Fights with others seem meaningless. Old rivalries are stupid looking. Even feeling fat now is ridiculous.

I don't like the fact though that people think they can be an asshole to me for almost a year and then think they can be all nice nice because a prior coworker of ours died.

I'd rather see them try to make amends before something like this happened. I'd believe it more then...

Anyways, rest well Karla.
I hope you're doin better.

Golf Your Head Off!!

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Thu, 21 May 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Tomorrow is the unofficial Third Annual Golf Madness day in which I spend the whole day with Loki and we golf for his birthday (5/31).

This year we're doing 9 holes at Links and Green in Fort Collins followed by 18 at Collindale in Fort Collins and finishing at South Ridge in, yes, Fort Collins.

Then I pour Dan out of the car and into his driveway - in Fort Collins.

Pattern? Maybe.

Good Times? Definitely!!

Long time no speak...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 12 May 2009 22:32:00 +0000

So as I sit here and wait for a Sprint rep to pick up my chat request in the service queue (I've been at 44 seconds for the last 3 minutes) I figure I can check in with the non-existent blog reading public. Well, Casmar excluded.

Step-son is still looking for permanent work but did finally sell his old truck. So he has a bit of spending cash he can blow on booze and hookers. Well, just booze.

Step daughter 1 is graduating from college Friday and has lined up a job which is great. Sucks she still has to share custody with the dead beat dad.

Step daughter 2 was busted for driving without a license and instead of the 30 day jail time she's given 5 which she needs to server by July. Nice state we live in where they treat repeat offenders like it's nothing critical.

Anyway, grandkids are doing well. Garret will be one in September and Lane 4.
I am pushing the great 42 and want to start crying now up until it happens.....

ok, it's been 11 minutes. I am giving up on Sprint.

An Important Zombie Public Service Announcement

noreply@blogger.com (Loki) — Sat, 09 May 2009 14:58:00 +0000

Lots and Lots of Pussy

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Wed, 06 May 2009 23:27:00 +0000

Cats that is...

Here is one of those math problems circling the globe.
Post your answer and I'll let you know if you're right since I can attach the magic spreadsheet everyone signs...

Test of your math skills...

You can't get the attached spreadsheet open unless you put in the correct
password. The password happens to be the answer to the math question posed
below. Good luck. Once you get it open, add your name to the bottom and
send to your friends.

This is a 5th grade math problem. If you can open the spreadsheet, you'll
see it's a very small list of people who have gotten the correct number.
This is not a trick question. This is a real math problem so don't say
that the bus doesn't have legs.

There are 7 girls in a bus. Each girl has 7 backpacks. In each backpack,
there are 7 big cats. For every big cat, there are 7 little cats.

The bus driver is not in the bus at this time.

Question:

How many legs are there in the bus? (The number of legs is the password
to unlock the excel spreadsheet. If you open it, add your name, save it,
and then send it on to see who else can unlock it.)

McDonalds sucks

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:15:00 +0000

I know I am not supposed to be eating at McDonald's but I was in a pinch this morning at 5:45am and rolled up to the drive-thru to grab myself some breakfast.

Keep in mind this is the same McDonald's I went to one early morning to the airport and got hosed with my order. It's not going to happen twice, right?

Sure enough - as Joe Pesci would say - they fuck you at the drive-thru.

Again they jack up my order. Instead of getting my full breakfast they neglected to give me a hash brown with my Egg McMuffin. I was pissed. It's not like a hash brown is a huge deal, but when you pay over $4 for a shitty breakfast (Note: Carl's Jr. has more food and coffee for 20 cents more) you should get the entire fucking meal.

I was already running behind to fill my shift at 6am so I didnt run in and get what I paid for and i regret not ripping them a new ass.

I will, however, vow NEVER to eat there (ANY MCDONALDS) for Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner.

Carl's Jr. is my new breakfast home for their loaded breakfast burritos.
yummmmmm

No Offense...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:41:00 +0000

but who gives a rats ass what the fuck Miss California says. Did you really want the poor girl to lie to win Miss USA? I applaud her honesty and balls.

Now if I could work on getting my balls on her chin...so sayeth Andrew Dice Claypidgeon.

What is on my mind...

kjh1967@gmail.com (Yeti) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:38:00 +0000

I was sitting in a thoroughly entertaining meeting the other day and I started doing what I normally do when I am bored out of my skull - I doodle.

So what got into my head was thinking about what others doodle when they are bored.
Do they make stick figures? Cubes and three-dimensional objects? Arrows and lines? Or something else.

Nothing Earth shattering (as usual) but something that got me wondering and thinking.
I mean, does what you doodle indicate some part of your personality?

Who knows and who cares....hahahaha